This month, my Melfie photo is with my youngest stepson, Connor.
When I got married, I didn’t just marry Luke, I married his entire situation and you know what, being a stepmum, is one of the hardest jobs in the world.
I remember when Luke first introduced me to his boys, I found myself trying to impress them more than their dad!
Never wanting to be their mummy, or their best friend but trying to find a happy medium whilst achieving acceptance, is more nerve wracking than any job interview.
Bringing up children is hard.
Bringing up children that aren’t your own, is even harder.
Being a stepparent, doesn’t come from a relationship of established love or nurturing. You have to almost play catch up to know what they like or don’t like. To know all about them. To know what makes them tick, or not, as the case may be.
When I was first chosen to read the bedtime story over daddy, I did an inner fist pump to the sky.
When I get asked to play with them; be the one to do their homework with; the one whose hand they choose to hold, it means more than their sweet little faces will ever know.
When Luke and I wanted to have children of our own, it was paramount to me that we created a blended family. Not a family of ‘them and us’.
The boys were so excited to have a new little brother. They adored him.
And you can imagine, when Lola was born, well, she was one over-protected little sister, that’s for sure.
I know that we have achieved that blended family that I so desperately wanted when I hear Ethan and Connor call Harley and Lola their brother and sister. The words ‘step’ or ‘half’ don’t appear anywhere in their repertoire. And that makes me so happy.
I almost want to give ourselves a pat on the back.
I was lucky. Their approval of what I represented and their acceptance of me was evident from the beginning.
But it’s a tough role.
Still, years later.
When schools give 2 tickets to an assembly or a presentation. The ticket is not for you.
Sometimes, just sometimes, you need to keep quiet.
Take a step back.
Don’t compare, yourself.
Never show favouritism. I am always mindful of this.
As I said, we are very lucky. We are, very much, a unit. A family with 4 children.
Here are a few of my favourite pics of me and the boys:
I’m immensely proud of my little family. All very different, yet so similar.
I’m a Mummy and a Step mummy, blimey, pass me that glass of wine!